Hurts

I am here, again. Being selfish for not listening. They are trying to convinced me, but I couldn't hear. My ears are tired. My eyes are closed. I didn't sleep but my body can't move a bit. It was a Herculen's task. I don't have any strength to fight these. God, please. Remove these. It was a hectic for me. I am broken alone. I am struggling alone. No one had come to save me yet. I was horrified but nobody's there to listen. Nobody's there to lift the weights that struck me.

There are some circumstances that I prefer to be alone. Hoping for nobody's there to mock and hurt me. But God creates us in community. We're not predator, so we can't live alone. That's why in my deepest heart, I am still pleading for a help. I am desperately begging for it. Eventhough I told them I want to be alone, it doesn't mean that I want to. Somehow my mind can't interprete words that I've thrown. I want new life. I want new beginner. I want to forget the suffering and those that torturing. I need YOU. Hold me from falling, wipe my tears from flooding.

You can be my guard. You can be my security lock. Whenever my alarm sound, you'll be there for me as fast as lightning.

I do pray. It seems that He didn't hear, but He actually does. He had planned something better for me, but I didn't want to listen. I'm never be a good slave for Him. I'm sorry. I really do.

Dedicated to; Him
I know you're not ready to tell me, but as I told you, I understand you.

May Allah bless :)