I wasn't born to please anybody. I was born to please HIM. And I'm still working on it.
If I were given chance to be anybody, I may want to be the bird. Or maybe remain in the childhood times. Where I don't have to think about the future and maybe figuring out new solutions to every problems that I've done. To be honest, I am tired. Really do. I felt like being a maid that working 24/7 and never receive any payment for the piles of works. Those who were talking about me out there never realized that everything that I've got is something that I'd never asked. They never knew how it's felt to be left broken alone. It's like carrying enormous rock behind you and try to walk straightly without getting help from anyone while those haters just stare and laugh at you. It really hurts. Your feet bleed. Your spine are going to crack. Your hands scratches. That's gonna heal soon, but not the hideous scars that remain still in your memory.
Do you know how does it feel walking in my shoes? Do you know how does it feel to be different from others? Do you know how does it feel? Never. Because your eyes was blinded by the stories. Your ears are deafened from the truths and your voice are muted to tell them the right things. The person that you hates may help you one day but you'll never miss the water until it runs dry. Those words that pricked someone's ears may pricked yours in the future. Karma really rock, bro. You'll get back what you give them. Just a bit of advice before you cry regretting the pasts. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's flawless. Never be a judgemental. Never hurts others. Even if they hurt you, that will soon gone, trust me. It's like washing your car, when you go travelling, the dirt will stick back and you wash again and it keeps repeating. Each day that passed doesn't really blooms all the time.
Thanked HIM for all the blessings that you've get. At least you know how to survive then. What differentiate a man and another man? Experience. Triumph that you've gone through actually the best teacher ever. It teaches you for the future. Yet, triumph may give you good memories that tickles your mind everytime. It's okay if you had bad days all the time. Good days will come sooner or later, just be patient. God planned everything for you. How far will you have faith on HIM? That depends on you.
To be brave and to be tough is what we had planned :)
May Allah bless.
